


Homecoming

by Chef_Geekier



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: (Ignore medical impossibilities), Kink Meme, M/M, Mpreg, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-13 00:44:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10502898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chef_Geekier/pseuds/Chef_Geekier
Summary: Bard & Bilbo have been married for many years. They're mostly happy, except that Bilbo has to travel back to the Shire every few years to reassure everyone that he's still alive and various duties. This time, he has a few companions on the way back home - including one that the dwarrow don't know about.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for a prompt on the kink meme, but very not-kinky. Prompt is essentially the summary, but full prompt and a few extra notes down the bottom.

Bard rolled his eyes to himself as he loaded the barrels onto his barge. These dwarves were ridiculous. Honestly, travelling merchants? With no goods? They were clearly battle-worn as well, and the barrels themselves were worn and chipped. He wasn't as stupid as the dwarves seemed to think he was, and it wasn't going to be worth the trouble to smuggle them into Laketown.  
  
The white-haired one was asking about his children then, and Bard felt a smile grow without his permission. Ah, his children...  
  
“Aye. Two girls and a boy,” he nodded. “Best things I've ever accomplished.”  
  
“And the wife as well, I bet she's a beauty.”  
  
Bard let out a chuckle at that.  
  
“He is,” Bard grunted as he hefted another barrel on board. “Though far too adventurous for his own good.”  
  
“I beg to differ!”  
  
Freezing, Bard felt his insides clench. He _knew_ that voice. But it couldn't be...  
  
“Bilbo?” He turned, eyes scanning the dwarves. For a moment he thought that maybe it'd been a figment of his own imagination, but then he saw him – his wonderful Bilbo, the hobbit who'd borne his three children, was shoving his way through the dwarves who all looked shocked.  
  
“Bilbo!” Bard exclaimed, dashing forwards without a care for the dwarves he brushed past. He fell to his knees just as Bilbo launched himself forwards, landing in a tangle of limbs and laughter. Bard's first move was to cup Bilbo's face with his hands and hold him still long enough to kiss his smile, soft brushes of lips quickly giving way to more passionate melding.  
  
One hand slipped up to caress Bilbo's ear, fingers trailing the shell and point, while the other slid down the hobbit's front. Bilbo let out a groan that definitely piqued Bard's interest, before the man startled at what his hands found.  
  
“Oh you stubborn hobbit,” he pulled away to scold his husband, who didn't look ashamed in the slightest. “What in Middle Earth made you think that travelling right now was a good idea? You could have waited, I wouldn't have thought less of you!”  
  
“Too bad,” Bilbo shot back immediately. “I've been able to berate you and attempt to break your hand for the other three births, don't think I'd let you get out of it for this one!”  
  
“What in Mahal's name is going on here?” One of the dwarves demanded then, and both Bilbo and Bard turned to glare at the offender.  
  
“Thorin,” Bilbo growled out through gritted teeth, “this is my husband. Bard. I haven't seen him in five months. Be a dear and get the barrels and dwarves loaded while we have a moment.” With that he ground his hips down against Bard's, and the man huffed out a laugh. Pregnancy had always made Bilbo a little... eager.  
  
Bard was quite happy to ignore the dwarves as they moved around them to the barge. Maybe he could deal with smuggling them into Laketown, since they'd brought Bilbo this far. He had his husband back in his arms, with another babe on the way – that sort of thing tended to make a man awfully forgiving.  
  
Though he was definitely going to have a talk with Bilbo about the orc arrows sticking out of a few of the barrels.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Bard is married to Bilbo Baggins and has been for some time. Bilbo carried and gave birth, however way you want, to Bain, Sigrid, and Tilda, all of whom inherited their Father's build and outward look of being a Man, but have more of the Hobbit's lifespan, but not by too much; they come of age at around mid-20s instead.
> 
> While backstory and explanation would be lovely, and appreciated, it is not needed.
> 
> But, to prompt in full!
> 
> Bilbo sometimes has to go back to the Shire. He doesn't particularly like it, but he knows the fastest way over and such to get back home and to his family. He just has to keep going back over once every few years, which he really doesn't like.
> 
> So, when he's at Bag-End this time, he really is not happy with Gandalf talking about adventure. His family is something he would die for, kill for, and fight for, and he would like to get back to them without dragging a bunch of people behind him, please and thank you!
> 
> So, now Bilbo is stuck travelling with the most inept and idiotic travelers he's ever been cursed to travel with, just trying to get back to his family and curl up with husband and why did he have to sign the bloody contract at all?
> 
> How the Mpreg is done is up to you, if you ever get into it.
> 
> Bonus:
> 
> \+ There is another child on the way at some point.  
> \+ Bilbo often acts very insecure and at odds with travelling, but those not too stubborn to realize that he's not what he seems (*cough*Thorin*cough*) notice he's packed for travel and knows the Elves of Rivendell a bit too well and...well, he's obviously a seasoned traveler.  
> \+ Bard is himself and then he sees Bilbo and adorable reunion the riverbank which almost gets a little too...passionate in front of Dwarves who are now very confused.  
> \+ Backstory. All the backstory. *nods*
> 
> (I will adore you if you fill just the spoiler bonus part. For forever.)
> 
> Additional notes from me: There's a definite discrepancy in timelines between the book and movies – I'm going to go with the movie speed that the journey has taken to make it even vaguely plausible that Bilbo's still pregnant and hasn't given birth yet.
> 
> Also, I'm going to say that fauntlings are absolutely tiny, especially when carried by males, and so to the rest of the company Bilbo hasn't seemed pregnant. They've just assumed that hobbits are kinda fat – which most are. The elves might have known, but they wouldn't say anything knowing that Bilbo wanted to get home so that he could give birth with his family present.
> 
> This is just the spoiler bonus part. I may be back to revisit this at another time.


End file.
